To many people will tell me that I’m so lucky for who I have met in a band or know in a band. But little does that person know how “lucky my life really is. This goes out to new and old friends. After you read this all about me and you no longer want to be friends that’s up to you. But I need to get some of these things off my chest. It’s going to come across written as a letter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone.

My name is Marisa and I’m 23 years old. I’ll turn 24 this year on May 20th. I’m an only child. That doesn’t mean that I have or do get everything I want. I didn’t have that much of a fun childhood since I always played alone/by myself cause I didn’t have that many friends in my life. I was always the fat, ugly, shy girl that no one wanted to hangout with or be with. Was always considered a tom-boy and was always super jealous of the girly girls.

I never had a boyfriend when I was younger. It was usually always just me. When I was in my teens and in high school I got picked on everyday from K-garden and still do to this day. My parent’s also got divorced. It turned out to be my worst part of my life. I lost my mother to my now step dad. And I live with my dad. Who I don’t get a long that well at times. My relationship with my dad is like the song by Simple Plan called “Perfect”. During this process I dropped out of school. And things at home weren’t that great. I was scared of where I lived. Plus I didn’t want to be alive.

I was in and out of philhaven. Due to being depressed and being caught in the middle of a nasty divorce. Plus the torment I got from my father and his parents and to this day I still get that…

I went back to school at the mall and graduated in 2007. I got a job at a local gym and was there for over 2 years. Than got a job at a hair place. And now I’m a cafeteria lady for the past 3 1/2 years.

I love animals. I wish my father would let me have another one.

Like I said earlier in this my father’s parents torment me non stop about everything they can find wrong about me. I know I’m not perfect but you can only hear so much about yourself.

My mom moved away so I have no way of seeing her as much as I would like and my dad is always with his girlfriend. I’m always eating lunch/dinner alone. I go to work and than home. I have no social life since no one seems to want to include me in things unless it’s to their benift such as a concert.

I don’t drive.. and yes I know I’m 23. I can’t afford a car and all that. Plus I don’t have anyone that want’s to teach me. People promise to but they never keep their promises.

Music is one of my only best friends.. It has been there through everything. I would be lost without it in my life. It has never turned it’s back on me or left me when I needed it the most. Plus I did make some great friends through music.

I use to run the Rosematter Street Team when they were a band. I’m now the leader of The Riot’s Street Team. Those boy’s are my life and like my second family.

I love photography and music. Maybe one day I will get a job in that.

I’m not a big fan of when people say they wish they had my life. It isn’t all that special. And most people only want it cause of who I know or who I see in concert.

I have 5 tattoo’s. There will be more to come.

Would really love to have some true friends in my life that would call me when I was down, hangout with me unexpectedly, want to do things with me, not lie to me or use me. I honestly don’t have that many friends. I usually come home from work and hangout with myself or my grandparents.

Would also love to have that one friend that would teach me how to put on make up, go girly shopping with, etc. That one friend I can tell my thoughts to and know they won’t tell anyone else.

Also would love to locate someone to love. It’s been over 5 years and I’m tired of being alone.

Just what happened the past couple of days made me want to spill my life/guts out.. See the real me.

Will anyone be my friend after this? It’s getting to the point where I can’t keep everything bottle up inside anymore and I’m tired of so many broken promises from “Friends” about hanging out.

All I see anymore is my family. I honesly have no one else to turn to. I wish I did.